Lessons in love
by Karolyn
Summary: Bella and Edward were young and in love and on their way to great places. What happens when tragedy strikes leaving Bella broken and Edward unable to help. Will the young couple make it through, will Bella ever be good enough? AH Updated summary
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Twilight or anything Twilight related, I just love having fun with my favorite characters!!**

Dear Diary,

I never thought things would turn out like this for me. I have always been so level headed and responsible, and so positive that I had been in love with Edward, which is exactly what got me pregnant to begin with. We were going to wait, we had been dating for about eight months and we had both decided that we were going to wait. We pushed the boundaries of our relationship more times than I want to remember, and finally we both gave in to the love and to the lust. And a month and a half later, we had a little pink plus on a stick. Alice had been there for me, and so had Edward. He told me that he would do whatever it took to make sure that me and the baby were well taken care of, even if it meant giving up school, and his dream of becoming a doctor. But that wasn't going to work for me. Thankfully neither one of us made any rash decisions, and by rash decisions I mean dropping out of school, and telling Charlie and Renee. We had gone to Carlisle and Esme first, and they were supportive of course. Carlisle took me straight to the hospital and hooked me up to the ultra sound machine, anxious to see his grandchild. Who in their right mind thought that I, Isabella Marie Swan would end up pregnant at the age of 20? It could have been a fairy tale come true, high school sweet hearts, who actually manage to become college educated while raising a young child. But it was not to be, I lost the baby at three and a half months. Charlie and Renee never found out, and Edward left me four months later. He claimed that I would be better off without him, that he had corrupted me enough, and that he needed to let me live my life, not the life that he wanted me to live with him. But any life with him was definitely worth it. I miss him, so very much I miss him. It's been about seven months since the day that he left me, and it's been exactly one year today since I lost our sweet baby, and the only thing that was keeping Edward with me. Charlie says that I will get over him one day, but I seriously doubt that will ever happen. He broke me apart in more ways than he knows, not only did he take away his love, but also my best friend, I haven't been able to talk to Alice since that day. I know it's not being fair to her, but she is his sister, and it just breaks my heart all over again to be near her and not be with him. I've taken drastic measures to stay away from the Cullen family. I got a job as a receptionist at a Doctor's office and I take my classes at night now. It reduces the chance that I will run into Alice and Emmett or their significant others. Plus it keeps me away from Edward; I don't think I could handle seeing him with the new blonde that had taken my place. I know for sure that would break me forever. I'm still taking my classes towards my Literature degree, and all the new friends that I have made are very supportive. But of course they mean nothing compared to what I have lost. They will never truly know Bella Swan, because Bella Swan was broken completely the day that he left. Sorry for the ultra depressed entry, I just had to get it out!

Bella

***Edward's POV***

"Edward Anthony Cullen, we have a huge problem. And do you want to know what the even bigger problem is than our already huge problem?" asked my sister Alice breaking up the silence of my room.

I sighed. She really had turned into Bridezilla ever since Jasper had proposed three and a half months ago. I knew that she was waiting for my answer, but I wasn't going to give one. This had to do with Bella, and she was the one topic that I refused to talk about, EVER.

"Edward, answer me," she yelled again.

I looked up at her, still refusing to speak, hoping that she would see the answer in my eyes.

"No sir, don't you dare give me that look. You are being the biggest pig headed jerk on the face of the earth, not only to Bella but to me too," she yelled.

I put by Anatomy book down, giving up on highlighting the hormones of the endocrine system and looked up at her again. I knew that my normally bright green eyes were dull and lifeless. My mother conveyed her concern every time I saw her. They were all so convinced that if I were to just talk to Bella about all of this, that my eyes would shine like emeralds again, lighting up the whole room as they once did, when I had been with Bella.

"You listen to me Edward Anthony Cullen, I am getting married in exactly five months and twenty three days, and I expect my best friend to be there, just as Jasper expects his best friend to be there, it's not my fault that you are the one that screwed this up, but I know one thing, you had damn well better have my best friend at my wedding and in her dress by five thirty that evening," she said throwing Bella's save the date at my head before turning on her heel and walking angrily from the room.

What the hell was I thinking when I gave my best friend my blessing to ask out my sister? I returned to my anatomy book, but my focus had been lost, there was no way that I was going to be able to study now, I was barely studying before Alice had come in. I sighed and threw the book down onto my couch and leaned forward putting my head in my hands. What in the world was I going to do? The woman that I loved hated my guts, hell I hated my guts. I did what I needed to do to make Bella happy and to allow her to be successful in life, but at what cost? I was miserable, my family was miserable because I was miserable, I had lost the love of my life and my best friend, and forced her out of my sister's life. That had certainly fixed everything, just the way I planned.

But I had bigger problems than worrying about Alice. Today was the day, it had been exactly on year since the day that my world had come crashing down and allowed me to realize how much I had screwed up, and how much I had ruined her. We had been sitting on the couch in our living room waiting for my mother to finish Sunday dinner. Bella was in the mood for Pot Roast, and my mother had spent most of the day working in the kitchen refusing any help. Bella had finally been able to keep her first full meal down the week before and we were celebrating with her favorite meal. She had been so thin when she became pregnant that you could already see the smallest of baby bumps appearing on her flat stomach. I was sitting on the couch with her head in my lap, my hand under her shirt rubbing lazy circles along her stomach when she sat straight up, and doubled over in pain. "Bella love, what's wrong?" I had asked her in panic. I was sure that it was just a cramp, or perhaps she was just getting some more morning sickness, I felt guilty that Esme had spent all day in the kitchen preparing Bella's favorite meal, and she wouldn't be able to eat it. But Bella cried out again, and her hands clutched her stomach, pain written all over her beautiful face, flooding her brown eyes. "Bella," I said rubbing my hand over her back. My mother came into the living room asking what all the commotion was about, but immediately rushed out to find my father.

It wasn't until Bella stood up that I realized the severity of the problem. When she stood there was blood running down her leg, the look she gave me after seeing it broke my heart in two. She knew then what had happened, though my father and I were trying to be more optimistic as we rushed her to the hospital, with my entire family in tow. An ultrasound confirmed her suspicions and she fell apart in my arms. I stayed by her side as we went through all the required procedures to remove what was left of the fetus, and I held her the entire time.

I didn't realize then how much I had screwed things up; it wasn't for a few weeks, when Bella and I started to drift apart. I still loved her with everything that I was, and everything that I had. I would do anything for her, but she was depressed and rightfully so. I spent many nights in the weeks following the miscarriage in my father's office speaking to him, but we both knew that Bella was too proud to ask for help, and that I would just have to let her work out of it herself. The depression had nothing to do with my decision to break up with Bella; it had nothing to do with my love for her, because if we were going strictly on my love for the girl she would be sitting at me feet studying literature, as I played with her hair pretending to study. It was the broken look that she gave me every time she looked at me; it was how I could see her broken heart in her eyes. I didn't have it in me to tell her we could try again, of course we would try again, but it wouldn't be for many years. I knew that she loved me, maybe even more that I loved her if that was even remotely possible, but I had brought her down enough and I wasn't will to do it to her again.

I didn't speak to anyone in my family about my decision. Alice would have killed me if she knew what I was planning on doing when I left the house to go to Bella's on that fateful night. Rosalie would have been right there with her. Emmett and Jasper would have tried to knock some sense into me, and though I could use it, it wouldn't have changed my decision. My mother and father just wanted me to be happy, they loved Bella, but I was their son and I came first. But they still didn't agree with my decision. When I got to her house that night she was reading Wuthering Heights, which was a good sign. It was her favorite book, and I hadn't seen her with it since before that night at the hospital. But I couldn't let her favorite book sway my decision, I had come here for one reason and one reason only, to break both of our hearts and I was going to see it through.

My mother brought me dinner about an hour after Alice left, just a ham and cheese sandwich and a coke. She knew I wouldn't eat much of it, if any at all.

"She feels awful Edward," said my mother placing the plate on my computer desk and sitting down next to me on the couch.

"As she should," I said quietly. I wasn't angry at my sister, but she should have been paying more attention to the calendar.

"Edward," said my mother placing her hand over mine. "She didn't realize what day it was, she certainly didn't do it on purpose, she misses Bella too," said my mother.

I looked at her barely fighting back the tears that I had been struggling with all day.

"Oh Edward," she said wrapping her arms around me.

"Do you think she's okay?" I whispered.

"I…..Edward I don't know how to answer that," said my mother.

"What do you mean?" I asked pulling away from her.

"Edward no one knows, sure she might have met some friends and told them, but she's not sitting with her mother right now as she morns the loss of her child, because her mother didn't know. I'm sure she feels even more alone than ever today," said my mother. I felt my heart tighten and I felt like even more of an asshole than I had since I left her house that night, leaving her behind in tears, only to return to the solitude of my own home to cry my own.

My mother left me about twenty minutes later, and I took another half an hour to myself before I was ready to face Alice. I made my way downstairs and found her sitting on the couch in Jaspers arms, wrapped in a blanket, her face was red and splotchy and her normally perfect spiky hair was smoothed against her head. "Edward," she said jumping up off the couch and making her way to me.

"I need you to do me a favor Alice," I said. My voice was even and I was confident that I was hiding the pain well.

"Anything," she said pulling the blanket tighter around her shoulders.

"I know I have asked you not to, and I know that she has gone out of her way to avoid you, but I need you to go to her. She needs someone to help her through today," I said. "Of course, only she's never home when I drive past her house, and I don't know how else to find her," she said. "She'll be done with Lit-302 in about an hour, that's in Miller," I said. "How do you know that?" she asked. I didn't answer, simply smiled before grabbing another coke out of the refrigerator.

"Thank you Alice," I said before disappearing back up to my room.

Alice stared after me for a moment before returning to Jaspers arms. "He wants me to go find her," she said. "That's good right, if you can get to Bella, then maybe somehow we can get them back together, right?" asked Jasper. "I sure hope so Jazz, I sure hope so. I don't know how much longer I can stand looking at him so broken," said Alice.

**A/N: I hope you like it! R&R please!!**


	2. Chapter 2

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Twilight or anything Twilight related, I just love having fun with my favorite characters!!**

***Alice's POV***

I felt better now that I was on my way to find Bella. I can't even begin to describe how horrible I felt after bursting into my brother's room and screaming at him, when I realized what today was. It was so hard for him to deal with, without me turning into Bridezilla on him. He really didn't need that today. Jasper was on his way up to talk to Edward when my mother had walked in, and decided that it would be better if she went.

He is entirely too forgiving, and I love him for that. I still don't understand how he knows where Bella is, I have been searching the campus for weeks looking for her, only to come up empty handed. I guess that happens though when she is taking night classes. I glanced at my watch as I looked up at the main entrance of Miller hall; she had ten minutes left in her class. I had driven my fathers car to meet her, my yellow Porsche would have stood out just a little bit and probably made her run, a black Mercedes fit it just a little bit better than that. I had no idea what I was going to say to her, or how she was going to react. In fact I was surprised to see her car in the parking lot, if I had been in her shoes and today meant to me, what it meant to her and Edward I would have stayed in bed all day. She is much stronger than me, which is only one of the thousands of reasons I need her in my life.

Students began to crowd out of Miller hall and I thought about the best way to approach her. She was one of the last people out of the building and she was walking so slowly that after a few minutes she was the only one left in front of Miller hall. She didn't go to her car like I had expected her too, but rather stopped in front of the large Oak tree that stood about 50 yards from my car. She quite literally threw her bag on the ground and then sat with her head in her hands.

I felt rushed after that, my best friend was hurting just like my brother had been earlier this afternoon. Only this time I could do something to help, rather than throw it in her face. I grimaced at the memory of what I had just done to Edward as I made my way over to Bella. She didn't look up at me as I stopped in front of her, letting me know I had been caught. I fell to my knees and wrapped my arms around her sobbing body. She cried for what seemed like hours, and finally she looked up at me.

"It hurts so much Alice," she said quietly.

"I know honey I know," I said rubbing circles on her back trying to calm her.

"I don't know what to do, I can't go home, Charlie would freak out if he saw me like this," she said.

"Come and stay with me," I said. Her head shot up at me and the look in her eyes told me all I needed to know, she still loved my brother, and she was going to fight me to the death about coming back to my house.

"Edward isn't home honey," I said hoping to calm her fears.

"Of course not, he probably doesn't even know what day it is, I'm sure by now he's found some blonde to replace me and is off having fun on a Friday night, rather than crying over what could have been," she said as she wiped her tears off her face. The sound of her voice and the cutting tone of her words broke my heart, and so did her confidence in the fact that Edward didn't love her.

"There's no Blonde Bella. Edward is with Jasper, I kind of said some mean things to him this afternoon and he was very upset, even more so than he had been, so he went to Jaspers for the night," I said. Okay so maybe he wasn't at Jaspers yet, but he damn well would be before I got back to the house. Bella's eyes flashed with pain as I explained to her the events of this afternoon.

"Alice you're getting married, that's so great," she said with the best smile she could manage. She surprised me by pulling my left hand out of hair where I had been playing with it, in attempts to sooth her.

"Oh Alice, its gorgeous, did he pick this out himself?" she asked.

"It was actually his great-grandmother's ring, his mother wanted me to have it," I said proudly. I was in shock when Jasper explained the history of two carat engagement ring after proposing.

"It's beautiful, it suites you very well," she said.

"Come on Bells, you are coming back to my house. I'll call Rosalie and we will have a movie night, complete with manicures and pedicures," I said standing. She looked up at me, still fighting. "I promise no make up. I don' think that your skin could handle it right now anyway, it's a little on the raw side, so maybe a soothing mask instead. We'll stop at the grocery store on the way home," I said glad that I could add some time into the plan. It would give me more time to get Edward out of the house.

She gave in finally and reached her hands up for me to help her up. I pulled her to her feet and pulled her into a hug. She hugged me for a minute before pulling back and saying, "Thank you Alice."

"What are best friends for Bells?" I asked.

She laughed and said, "I'm not a very good best friend, I forced you out of my life…" she started.

But I stopped her right away. "All is forgotten Isabella, you needed me, and I am here now. Now come on, let's get a move on," I said taking her hand and pulling her towards her car. "Can you drive, or do you want me to get Em to come and get your car?" I asked.

"Would he mind terribly?" she asked.

"Not at all," I said as we walked towards the Mercedes. As we walked I took the time to look at my best friend for the first time in nearly seven months, she was thinner than she had been last time I saw her. She had dark circles under her eyes and she looked hollow.

She was silent on the way to the grocery store, which gave me time to send Jasper and Edward a text message. It was the same text, the same threat geared towards both of them. **If you value your life you will both get out of that house now. I am on my way back with Bella, and she is under the impression that Edward is already at Jasper's house. You have 15 minutes.** My phone rang almost immediately. It was Edward. "Hello," I said as I walked into the grocery store alone.

"What do you mean you are on the way back with Bella," he asked.

"Exactly that, she was upset, and I offered to let her stay at the house so Charlie wouldn't see her like that. I told her that you weren't home and she thought that you were out with some blonde," I explained.

"What! And you just let her think that I had moved on from her so quickly and that I didn't realize what today meant to both of us," he nearly yelled.

"Calm down Edward. I told her what happened earlier, and I told her that I had only upset you even more, and that you had gone to Jasper's for the night. He is your best friend Edward, it makes sense. Now go," I said.

"But Alice," he started.

"Edward, she misses you and she still loves you, and if you have even the slightest chance of getting her back then you will do exactly what I tell you to do, do you understand me?" I asked. He was silent for a moment. "Edward?" I asked again.

"Yes, Jasper and I will be gone before you get back," he said quietly.

"Thank you and you had damn well better call before you show up at this house tomorrow, do you hear me?" I asked.

"Yes," he said just as quietly.

"It's going to be okay Edward; I'm going to fix this. It just might take a while," I said.

"Thanks Ali," he said before hanging up.

_Well that was a step in the right direction_, I thought as I gathered four large cups of plain yogurt and the honey we would need for our girls night masks. I walked around for a few minutes longer than necessary grabbing our favorite flavors of Ben and Jerry's ice cream, and some double stuffed Oreos for Bella, they were her favorite. She was nearly asleep in the passenger's seat when I returned to the car. "Do you know what I think you need Bells?" I asked.

"What?" she asked trying to wake up.

"Peppermint white mocha," I said.

She laughed quietly, "I haven't had one of those in months," she said.

"Well then, I believe that a Starbucks run is in order," I said with a smile.

We stopped at Starbucks, ordering everyone's favorite drink before returning to my house. The lights were on in the living room as I pulled up and as promised Edward's Volvo and Jasper's Acura were no where to be found. In their place was Rosalie's BMW convertible. "Look Rose is already here," I said as I grabbed the drinks and stepped out of the car. I knew this was going to be hard for her. She hadn't spoken to any one in that house in seven months, and they were all people that she loved dearly.

I walked in to see my mother and father sitting in the kitchen reading the paper, with Rosalie and Emmett on the couch watching Emmett's favorite sitcom. I found myself grateful that Emmett was there, if anyone could cheer up Bella, it would be Emmett.

"Hey guys, I brought Starbucks," I said as I walked into the kitchen. I handed my mother her drink and she smiled. She took a sip of it but put it down immediately when she realized that Bella was standing behind me.

"Bella," said Emmett with his booming voice as he made his way into the kitchen.

"Hey Em," she said quietly.

"Oh Bella we are going to have to turn that frown upside down," he said picking her tiny frame up into one of his massive bear hugs. She laughed slightly as she hugged him back.

"I've missed you," she said quietly.

"It hasn't been the same without you," he said taking his drink from me.

"Hey Emmett, we have a favor to ask," I said.

"You name it," he said as Rosalie appeared at his side. I caught the look she was giving me as she took in Bella; she was as concerned as I was.

"Bella's car is still at school, and I was wondering if you and Dad would mind going to get it for us?" I asked.

"Sure thing, ready Dad?" he asked. My father laughed and shook his head at Emmett.

"I'm driving," was all he said before standing. He gave Bella short comforting hug, before taking his drink and his keys from me and disappearing out the front door with Emmett.

Rosalie made her way over to Bella pulling her into her own comforting hug, and I could see it was taking everything Bella had not to give into the tears that were threatening to fall again. "So I got Ben and Jerry's and yogurt for masks, and we are going to watch movies and do our nails what do you think Rose?" I asked.

"Sounds like a plan to me," she said.

"Let's go get changed, your pajamas are still in the same place as always Bells," I said.

"Alice, would you mind horribly if I took a shower before we get started?" she asked.

I could only smile, "Of course not Bella, you know where everything is. Make yourself at home and if you need anything just ask, okay? Rose and I will be waiting for you when you're done," I said.

"Thank you," she said quietly as she made her way towards the steps.

I sat down at the kitchen table with a sigh. This was exhausting, I was normally a very happy, perky person but having to be over the top just to protect her feelings was going to take a lot out of me.

"That bad," asked my mother.

I nodded. "She still loves him, that's for sure, but she's so broken up about today, that she actually thought that he moved on. She thought he was out with some blonde today. Thankfully the only blonde who will be with him today is Jasper," I said.

"We have to fix this," said Rosalie.

"Give her time girls, if she still loves him like you say she does, it will just take some time," said my mother.

Rosalie and I both nodded, "So mother will you be joining us for yogurt masks and ice cream?" I asked.

"Oh no, I think I should leave that up to you ladies, you have a lot of hard work in front of you. You have to get my future daughter in law back," she said with a smile before kissing us both on the cheek and making her way towards the steps. She was right; this was going to be hard work.

**A/N: I hope that you like it!! Please let me know what you think!!**


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